you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
honey bunches of taint.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
