What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
