5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
