in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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