is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
