I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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