If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
