No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
