i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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