if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
