Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
