you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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