No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
