I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
