the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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