my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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