I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
