His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
