Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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