After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
