Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
