Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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