is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
