if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize