another moral hangover. fuck.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
