You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize