If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
