We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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