I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
