man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
