The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
