We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
