it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
