oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
