I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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