He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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