I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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