Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
