I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
