Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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