I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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