FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
