you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
