my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
