Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I love having hate sex.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
