He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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