When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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