You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
