Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
