don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
