eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
