why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
