i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
