pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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