Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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