i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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