margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
