our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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