Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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