I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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