no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
