If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize