Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
