Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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