then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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