Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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