ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
