dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
